Forgive me, but since I worked as a childbirth educator for over 10 years...I have birth analogies for just about everything! My poor husband rolls his eyes when I start in on the birth topic because he knows he had better settle in for the long haul.
I have been very surprised to find that, for me, the adoption process and the pregnancy/birthing process are extremely similar. Let me explain and compare:
Adoption-Involved brief conversations about the possibility of adopting in the future....far off future...and then had "the" dream.
Prior biological children-Involved brief conversations about the possibility of having another child...in the future...then, discovering I was pregnant the same month.
Adoption-Deciding the same month that we would go forward! Felt nervous, excited, and concerned about how it would impact the family. Wondering and planning how we would make it all work. Informing family and friends that we were "expecting".
Biological-same as above!
Adoption-overall pleasant time of planning and dreaming. Looking dreamy eyed at 3T sized clothing. I bought these coordinating outfits which they have now likely outgrown:
Biological-Same as above except that I bought cute tiny newborn clothing
|Outfits from Oilo...aren't they cute!?!|
Adoption-Everything gets a bit more uncomfortable and there is increased determination to have the paper pregnancy over with already! There is increased impatience with the whole process and longing for the children.
Biological-Exact same emotions...without the paper.....
Then, what happens? Going into labor, of course!
Adoption-The last piece of paperwork is done. Everything is submitted. A new excitement begins coupled with disbelief that the next step will be traveling to a completely foreign land and that this could possibly be the beginning of the end!!!
Biological-The last childbirth class and hospital tour is completed. A new excitement begins coupled with disbelief that the next step will involve a whole new foreign experience of birthing this child and amazed that the end is finally near!!!
Adoption-Excited about the updates on progression-paperwork is going to the courts! Excited and waiting to hear the numbers of the travel dates. Feeling increasingly irritable and overwhelmed with what it will take to make it to the end. Beginning to question whether or not it is possible to make it and wondering whether or not all of this was a good idea. Thinking...what have I gotten myself into!!!
Biological-Excited about the updates of progression-cervical dilation is finally happening! Excited and waiting to hear the number of 10 centimeters. Feeling increasingly irritable and overwhelmed with what it will take to make it to the end. Beginning to question whether or not it is possible to make it and wondering whether or not all of this was a good idea. Thinking....what have I gotten myself into!!!
TRANSITION: (Where I have been!)
Adoption-The hardest part of the process (I hope!) So much work needs to be done in such a short time coupled with increased fear and stress with doubt... leading to being convinced that it just can't be done! Reaching out to spouse, family, friends for support and then retreating and having unrealistic expectations of what they can do. Emotions bouncing off the walls!
Biological-The hardest part of the process(*every* woman hopes it won't get any worse at this point!) So much work (dilation) needs to be done in such a short time coupled with increased fear and stress with the doubt that this can be done and then deciding that it just can't be done! Reaching out to support people in the hospital room and then retreating and having unrealistic expectations of what they can (or should!) do. Emotions bouncing off the walls!!!
Adoption-Time to get down to business and get the work done. Complete focus is centered on that one goal: Get the children home!
Biological-Time to get down to business and get the work done. Complete focus is centered on that one goal: Get this baby out!
I just have to show a great "gotcha" day video to conclude this post....It is all so worth it!!!!
I'm back in for the finish....I think I am through with transition and heading towards the pushing phase. Let's bring the twins home! We are all going to start walking again and fundraising until we drop....thanks to all of you who have been patient with me.
If you are just starting the adoption process, know that you don't have to have a plus sign on a stick in order to go through pregnancy!