September 29, 2011

The twins first picture and our deep gratitude

There is pink that is finally starting to grow in our fundraising thermometer!!!  I cannot express how thankful I am to finally feel like we are making progress towards bringing the twins home!

But, I have a confession to make....I have written several fundraising posts and deleted them shortly after.  I just felt like I was complaining and not having enough faith that it would all work out.  I had a running joke with my family that I felt like Charlie Brown and could only get rocks in my trick or treat bag....and I was just feeling very unsupported.   But, after I would write those posts, I would feel guilty for being so negative and pathetic...and I deleted them. 

  I am now feeling sorry that I did that because I am finding that it was for my benefit to have that experience. 

I should have known that most of my biggest life lessons and blessings come from my trials. 

So, I decided to be vulnerable and post with honesty because I hope that it will help someone else....I've promised myself that I won't delete this one!

My biggest trial ever and yet a time of great growth was the time that surrounded the death of our beautiful baby extremely awful beyond comprehension and yet we came out the other side with compassion for others and a drive to live our lives the best way that we know how....

She gave us many gifts in her short life.  She taught us to always ask questions of the doctor and to never worry that asking those questions might inconvenience someone. 

She taught us that even the pain of labor and loss isn't too strong for God to help with.  She taught us that it is okay to mourn and what it actually means to be strong.

  She taught us about deep grieving and sadness and she taught us about never ending love.

  And, mostly she taught us to strive as hard as we can to do what is right and to follow Christ's example so that we all may be reunited some day. 

As I go throughout my day, I can imagine her watching....what sin is worth risking a chance for a mother to be reunited with her baby?

So, I may not like it but the hard times are truly necessary for us. 

 And, what blessings have come out of it!  I can't even begin to express with words how I have felt with each and every donation or purchase from our store!   I have a whole new appreciation for the value of a dollar.....because, you see, in an adoption

 The money that is given means so much more than just the money.....

It represents someone who cares....

there is someone out there that has been touched by the twins too and wants to see them united with our family. 

I have mentioned in past posts that the only families interested in the twins wanted to separate them.

Here is the first picture I have posted of the twins....can you imagine separating these hands?  I know that the light is probably just a reflection of some sort but I like to think that it shows the strong connection between the two of them.

I have noticed that many of the other adoption blogs will say that there is no donation that is too small.  Even $1 or $5 is representative of a sacrifice of time and personal money that they worked hard for and I am truly touched by it.

Not to mention, that if the word spreads and others are willing to encourage someone else to give...even just a little, it eventually *does* add up! 

It also really adds up in the confidence and courage of the adoptive family who is really stepping off into the unknown...even if they have adopted before.  Sometimes I think I need that the most, so sending love and prayers is also quite welcomed! :)

My husband said to me today, "You know, even if you are playing the role of Charlie Brown....have you ever noticed that he always goes right back to that football, waits once again for a valentine, and still goes trick or treating ....he never gives up!"


  1. Cynthia, I am going to be spreading the word as much as I can. Love to you!

  2. What an amazing journey. The thought that there are two little precious heartbeats, meant to be together in another part of the world, waiting patiently for your love. Such an inspiration.

  3. WEll put!!!!! Sometimes on our blog, I just can't seem to get my emotions to flow into words! Well put! Every $ counts! Please anyone reading this giving even a dollar brings these kids one step closer to experiencing a mother's embrace and the love of a father!

  4. I found your blog thru a trail thru two other blogs. :) We are just beginning looking into adopting. We also have a child in heaven. We hope to adopt twins. Did you set out to adopt twins? I can't explain why I feel that we should adopt twins, it just seems like the right thing to do. I saw that you said that many people wanted to separate them. Is that common? Blessings in your journey.


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