July 1, 2011

Homestudy complete and we're approved!!! But, there is a problem....

Okay, so I know it is strange to start with the good news but I will stick to the timeline of our week.  We completed our homestudy on Tuesday amidst pouring rain which virtually never happens this time of year in our area of California.  It made everything seem cozier and we were able to make cookies without fear of over heating the house.  It was a great visit and the social worker promised to complete the report as quickly as possible and would try to have it done by this weekend!

It has been wonderful to have that huge step behind us!!!  WHEW!!!!

In order to set the scene you must understand that I was overall on cloud nine yesterday since everything had seemed to be falling into place.

Oh, well, I did start out the day unable to close my mouth.....

I mean this in the most literal sense....Eleanor had been sitting on my lap the night before and reared back quickly with her head and accidentally bashed me in the face.

I thought my front teeth were going to fall out!

I recovered fairly quickly with front teeth still intact with only a minor contusion to my lip.....until morning.

I woke up with my jaw unable to close and pain trying to open it or close it.

Well, moving on with my day....I had my volunteer job that morning.  I have been working Thursday mornings for the Child Life program at a nearby hospital.  I mainly help with the play room and bringing fun activities bedside for kids that are hospitalized and some in the ICU. 

It went much better than last week when I left the hospital crying.

 I had been fine the entire shift.

  I had played with a baby in the PICU who didn't appear to have parents visiting very often.  So, they asked that a volunteer go spend some time.  I played and got the baby to smile and then the nurse mentioned that the baby was probably tired and needed sleep.  So I spent the last part of my shift gently stroking the baby's forehead.  It finally fell asleep when I switched and smoothed it's hair on the side by the ear while we gazed into eachother's eyes.  I was fine....I really was.....I was actually proud of my accomplishment....LOL! 

Somehow, while walking out of the hospital and listening to doctors discuss a case of serious infection(this was downstairs in the hall and likely an adult) it just all came crashing down and I really wanted to get out of there.

Whoops....distracted from yesterday.  So yesterday went well and no crying!  We made flags inside the play room and quickly assembled kits for the other children to do at bedside.

Afterwards I had to go pick up my medical releases for the dossier.

For those that have been following the blog....the last time I picked up my medical release had been the day that my grandmother passed away.  So, I messed up....I didn't get three copies, nor spell out the month, nor was it all on one page etc. 

My husband already had his completed.  On the day he went in to the doctor (same office different doctor) he dropped off the THREE forms. 

So, yesterday while I was volunteering, the nurse at the doctor's office called and said asked why there were three forms.  My husband called back and gave a detailed message to front desk staff that ALL three forms needed to be filled out and signed as originals. 

I showed up and...you guessed it....only one copy.  It was beautiful and perfect....all on one page, spelled out month, and signed by the doctor but I had just one....not three.  I don't think it was the fault of the nurse as she is amazing and has been a huge help throughout the whole process.  I'm sure the message just didn't make it to her. 

So, I explained what I needed and began to wait....

I was 1pm and due to my jaw and schedule that day, I had not eaten anything at all.

Finally, the nurse came out and said that she would get the doctor to sign the other forms....no problem. 

So, I waited....and waited......and waited.......

A young guy went up to the front desk during my wait and he checked in for his appt.  He was told that the doctor(my doctor) was running 45 minutes behind.  He was a bit exasperated by this and debated whether or not he would stay.

After he left, the front staff began to discuss what was happening.  They discussed quietly (but obviously not quietly enough!) that the doc was running really behind because of a scheduling error where two longer appts were put into a short appt slot.

Awhile later, the nurse appeared and actually sat on the waiting room couch with  me.

I knew there was a problem.

The form that the doctor had completed and signed....TWICE before was now defiled. 

And, I mean it.....the form had crazy slashings across it like markings from a madman.  The doctor had decided that she didn't really know if I had cancer or not.....she didn't really know if I was a druggie or if I used inhalants......and she didn't just neatly and carefully cross them out.  She had huge long slashes across the paper rendering it useless!

I was stunned and speechless!  I had been going to this doctor for myself and all my children for quite some time.  I had recently completed a physical with her and she *knew* that we were adopting.  And, she had already signed a different medical release for our homestudy agency. 

And, she had signed THAT EXACT FORM......TWICE before!!!!!!  The paper that I picked up first at the front desk that day had been done perfectly....and it was SIGNED by her!  All, I needed for her to do was sign two more copies that looked EXACTLY the same and I would have been out of there and done.

The poor nurse was trying to explain that we would likely need another appt and all sorts of blood work.....I was just stunned......and starving.....and MAD!  I asked her how in the world I was supposed to provide verification that I did not use inhalants!!!  Most doctors, including my husbands, check that off because they have a relationship with the patients whereby they have a pretty good idea that they aren't huffing paint every day.  GEESH!!!

So, where does that leave me......

I can either stick it out with my current doctor and run through a zillion more hoops whereby she may *still* not feel comfortable that she can't prove that I am healthy. 

Or, I can start all over again with a new doctor which really could present challenges because that doctor won't know me and would likely want a physical.....and we all know how long it takes to get an appt for a physical!

I just can't believe that we're delaying over THIS!!!!   While two little children sit in an orphanage waiting and waiting and waiting.......all because a doctor was having a bad day!


  1. Oh, no! I am SO sorry to hear about all this :( I'll be praying that you get it all figured out soon. {{HUGS}}

  2. That's so frustrating!

    I can understand that not everyone feels called to adopt; however, you would think that people would do what they could to help out those who are adopting.

    Not to mention the fact that it's so unprofessional of the doctor. If she was having a bad day and was over booked and couldn't handle it, she could have had the nurse apologize for the delay and tell you to come back later. It would have sucked, but, you wouldn't be in the position you're in now.

    Besides, she had already signed one form stating you weren't a huffer. So, did she lie on that form or lie on the form where she said she couldn't be sure?


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