Prayer request for our family-and another slideshow :-)

This post has been my most internally debated with a strong desire to avoid altogether....and I'm still not sure I want to write the words.  However, I can't blog at all if I don't.... it is a central issue for our family right now.

Thankfully, the issue is not the twins at all....we are all bonding together extremely well and they are settling in as very loved and appreciated members of the family.  I have so many fun stories to tell but feel that I must discuss the adversity first, because we really need the prayers.

I have mentioned but have not focused on the fact that my husband had just started the police academy when we began the adoption.  I am embarrassed to say that this was not a prayerful or spiritual decision but rather it seemed to make sense and was something he had truly wanted to do.  We had the savings and I could continue our business at least part time in his absence.  Keep in mind that this was just *prior* to our beginning the adoption.

He pre-tested with one of the highest scores of the class and I saw him dedicate himself in a way I had never seen before.  They started with a group of around 80-90, but as they were told to expect....he only graduated with about 25.  It took extreme amounts of hard work, a two hour daily commute which typically started and ended in the dark, extreme physical training, studying until late at night, and the near daily stress that he could be cut with any fail of a test or scenario at any time. 

I was so relieved, happy, and proud that he made it through and I was looking forward to getting back on more solid ground financially as I just assumed that certainly by July or August he would have a job.

You probably know where I am going with this....

The horrendous economy coupled with the extremely loooooong hiring process for law enfocement means that after Robert putting out over 60 applications all over California and a few in Washington...... there is no job. 

I haven't mentioned it much because I've been trying to stay positive and continue to have hope.  And, it sounded *really* good that he would have a job lined up by the time we returned after our month to go get the twins.  He had passed the physical agility and written exam, the oral board interview, the polygraph, and the psych eval.  But, when we got home, he was told that a smaller group went through the new hire academy and he was not selected (possibly because we were out of country, but we will never know).....but he could possibly go through in August.

August isn't that far away.....except when you are paying such high rates for medical insurance that it is like trying to carry two mortgages. 

So, here we are.....we MUST have health insurance, and currently ours is an extended COBRA and very expensive but also very good.  We absolutely cannot go on anything state subsidized and still have our adoption go through.  And, it is NOT an option to go without, especially now that we have the twins. 

We also have the expenses of two more trips (flight and hotel and court costs) to the twin's country including more fees for an updated home visit from the social worker for the next court date as well as fees for apostilling the documents and more money for filing for the children's immigration. 

We are really facing a scary nightmare. 

And, an ending to Robert's dream of law enforcement....for now.  He is now looking for any job in any field that would provide benefits.  And, jobs that are *anywhere* which means that we may be moving.  The job market is extremely tough right now and we are being realistic that it may mean some serious sacrifices.

So life is hard right now....down right discouraging. 

And, many people might say.....(I often imagine someone with their hands on their hips) "well, they should never have adopted...that was a bad decision".  And, if you looked at it from purely a financial point of view.....I suppose they would be right.  We invested our savings, 401K, and every spare cent into the adoption....to the point of depleting all of our food storage to eliminate grocery bills.

But, I am firmly resolute that I have absolutely no regrets and that these two are our children and they are HOME!  Money doesn't mean anything to me if it isn't being used for things that actually matter. 

And, all of you that have been reading our blog for awhile will know that our family started an online walkathon and walked nearly every day to attempt to help bring them home. 

Can you even imagine the feelings and tears that welled up when we took this picture.....with the twins actually and *finally* here!

I decided after writing this blog that I just had to do another slide show.....just to help me to cope and provide the inspiration.....we all *love* the two of them so much and I have been hugged and kissed and had someone on my lap more in the past few weeks than ever before. 

Bring on the prayers and encouragement.....I just know that Heavenly Father is with us......and the twins are home, Hallelujah!!!!!!  (as always, the fuzzy quality with some of the pics/video is intentional until the adoption is final in order to comply with the court)