Day 3-Dollar bills at the Dollar store

Today was both a success and a failure.  It was a stronger day for me which helped a lot because my daughter needed to be driven an hour away for her biology lab.  My husband saw me before we left and commented that it seemed like maybe, just maybe, I was doing better.

All day I was so excited at the possibility that my illness could be nearly over... but, true to my ridiculous personality, I way overdid it and pushed myself to where I am now twitching and horribly tired and sick.  It was just too much so I will have to learn how to go at a more medium speed rather than completely down or warp speed ahead.

Overall though, our day was quite a success and a lot of fun.

I only took half of the children to make life a little easier for myself and for them.  But, I plan to bring the twins with me on her next lab day.

We were able to go to an outdoor shopping area that is down the street from my daughter's class.

Our Little Love for today was to go to the Dollar Store and hide some $1 bills for someone to find.  The children had a lot of fun and really wanted to watch for someone to find it!  It is certainly a small thing but I hope that whoever finds them enjoys their little treasure. :)

Tomorrow our Little Love will be for our pets at home so it will hopefully be a chance to rest and recover.  

Day 2-Thanking the Sheriff's dept

This has been so much fun already!  

Two great things happened today...we made Fudge Meltaways and a card for the Sheriff's dept.  And, I got an email from the doctor (yes, on a *Sunday*....she is wonderful) saying that she was ready to go with the referral to the neurologist on Monday.  

I hope everyone reading the blog right now has read my prior post on the concept of random acts of kindness or paying it forward.  Our version is "Little Loves" that we are doing as an advent calendar each day this month.  

The idea appealed to me, in part, because I wanted to stop wallowing in the misery of not being able to walk or function well right now.  Well, it is working so well and making me so happily distracted that I feel selfish again...ha ha!  Oh well...

For anyone that wants to make an easy holiday treat that almost everyone raves about and is a long time family recipe (in truth, we certainly didn't make it up...we've just made it a bunch of times ;)  

Here we go with Fudge Meltaways:

Crust:

1/2 cup butter

1 oz unsweetened chocolate

1/4 cup sugar

1 cup shredded coconut

1/4 cup chopped nuts

1 tsp vanilla

1 egg, beaten

2 cups graham cracker crumbs

Melt butter and chocolate together. Add remaining ingredients. Mix well and press into 9” baking pan. Chill.

Middle layer

Filling:
1/4 cup softened butter
1 Tbsp milk
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups sifted powdered sugar
Mix together until smooth. It will be very thick! Add a splash of milk if needed. You want it to be thicker than cake frosting but you need to be able to spread it on top of the crust. Chill.

The recipe forgot to mention the step of licking the spatula!

 Final layer!

Topping:
1-2 oz of unsweetened chocolate
Melt and spread on top of filling. Chill. Cut before completely firm.

Completely yummy!

Everyone had to try a bite!  The little ones loved it.  My teenagers were a little less enthusiastic.  But honestly, every time I have brought it anywhere, I have people that ask for the recipe.

Here is the card that Amelia made.

They all wrote a message of thanks inside.

Success!!

Little loves

It is December 1st and I am thrilled!!!  This month has hope for me that I haven't had in over two months.  We officially have health insurance once again and the opportunity for some answers.  I have never been more grateful to be poked and drained of blood! :)

This may sound odd but I have realized that illness has a way of making me very self-focused.  For the most part, that is a natural phenomenon when we don't feel good...our brains have no choice but to tend to pain or discomfort or odd feelings.  It makes sense to be wired that way for self preservation.

But, I have a real fear of becoming like Agnes Moorhead in Pollyanna:

I can hear one of the lines from that movie running through my head....she looks at Pollyana and says while scowling, "You have a stubby little nose!"

Couple this fear with a need to obtain an advent calendar for my children and there you will have the perfect marriage and understanding of what we are setting out to do this month.

I started to purchase a chocolate advent calendar for my children this year.  Then I had the realization that even if we tried to be fair and rotate the days that a day would come where the schedule was in debate and it would cause arguments amongst the children rather than bringing them together.  

So, I started to look at unique ideas for advent calendars and found many suggestions for Random Acts of Christmas (kindness).  And, bells began ringing...ha ha!

It is much harder to be selfish or self-focused or worry about being sick when you are planning and doing kind things for others.  

In the process of researching what we would do, I found these two movies that will get you in a good mood and smiling if you watch:

And, here is where the name for our project comes in!  You must forgive the fact that it sounds kind of cutesy.  However, I have found a running theme in my life lately that the purpose of life, and what God mostly wants us to learn, is to love.  So, when I heard the last video's song...I thought that the perfect name for our endeavors is "Little Loves"  

So, here we go throughout the Christmas season offering "Little Loves" each day to bring more meaning and count down the day to the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Our first offer of Little Loves is to gather as many toys and clothes as we can to donate.  I promise that the next few should be a bit more creative but, we're just getting warmed up!

Here are my own little loves....can you believe that we have accumulated *that* many shoes!!!!!

Hard times and Halloween

This post has been written and deleted day after day for the past few weeks.

It is hard to write about hard times...and so much more fun and easy to post cute pictures and talk about all the fun things our family is doing.

But life has trials and one of the hardest parts for me is not to envy others and feel frustrated seeing Facebook pictures of fun family outings and *normalcy*...those who are like we used to be, busy and happy, rather than in bed with a body that won't work.

So, with a literal deep breath, I am going to try to be honest about life's ups and downs because when I started this blog, I truly wanted a record of family history and I am currently failing at keeping it going during the harder times.

Since my last post we have been thrilled to experience the marriage of our daughter Lauren.....

to our amazing son in law, Paul.

 I will try to blog about that experience next since I am truly hoping to get a slideshow put together for them.

We also experienced my husband finally getting his dream job in law enforcement after a long and very difficult financial wait.  This is a pic of him being sworn in...my daughter had a hard time getting a picture without him blinking!

Actually, financially speaking, we were in near devastation after an expensive adoption where we laid everything out on the line, and my husband's current employers decided to fire him once they found out that the county was doing a background check with the *possibility* of hiring him.  They met him at the door with the paperwork and his last paycheck and said that they only wanted "long term employees".

My husband was devastated.  He stated that he had worked since he was sixteen years old and he had never ever been fired before.

And.....to make things a little worse....we were one week away from our daughter's wedding.  We were definitely watching money carefully but nevertheless....weddings add up!

And, my COBRA from my prior job was ending the next month.

The plan had been to take my husband's existing job's health insurance until he would, hopefully, get the job in law enforcement, but that was now no longer an option.

Next plan...private insurance until he could get his job.

I spent the day working on it but no one would take us because I had a pending referral to a neurologist.

Let me explain by taking this story back a few weeks after the wedding.  I got up as I normally do at 4:30am to teach seminary to the youth at our church.  I was startled to notice that my hands were tremoring.

At first I just figured I was tired and with a little extra rest it would go away.  And, then I was nervous that I was going to inherit my grandmother's essential tremor that she had for all the years that I knew her.  Little did I know that I would later be wishing that was all it was!

I arranged for a temporary sub for my class and headed for bed because by now I was noticing extreme fatigue and my feet were also jerking.... as well as constant random muscle twitches everywhere.

Within a few more days, I was having a very difficult time walking.  I was dizzy, clumsy, the muscles in my legs were weak and felt like flimsy rubber bands.  I began to feel that the only place I could feel semi-normal was laying in bed.

The next logical step would be to go to the doctor, right?

Well, I have been falling into every deep and dark crack there is in the health care system.  After attempts at every insurance route I could come up with including medi-cal and county insurance, the realization hit me....

I was going to have to wait a month to go to the doctor.  And so, my focus began to be distraction and trying not to think about it.  The children came to me and we spent most of October in my bedroom...eating, homeschooling, and (gasp) an increased amount of tv watching and computer use.

But, as I said, Robert was able to get the job and it looked like he would be working before the end of the month which would give us coverage (and the ability to see a doctor!) on November 1st.

It was a dark day just at my birthday when we found out definitively that Robert would start in November which would bump our insurance coverage to start in December.

At that point, I finally brought myself to email my doctor and ask for help and further guidance.

Last week, I finally was able to go in.  My doctor offered to see me without charge and boy did my body ever put on a show for her.

I'm sure it was because I was pushing myself harder just to get ready and go to the doctor's office.   Add the fact that she had to do several strength tests and I ended up jerking and tremoring everywhere by the time I could get out of there.  She mentioned a few things like MS and adrenal gland diseases and even the C word of cancer.  But, promised to do some homework over the weekend and get back to me on Monday to prioritize the tests and referrals to specialists since we are uninsured.

And, that is all I know for now....I am done with being so quiet about it and private.  I just was truly hoping it would all disappear and, I would still welcome whatever it is,  to vacate my body whenever it would like.... without any need for explanation!

For my friends and family, I get tired *very* easily including phone conversations.  Don't get me wrong...I can talk your ear off but even good stress seems to leave me tremoring and stumbling.  Thankfully I have only actually fallen once and the only result was a scraped back and bruised backside and a bit of a bruised ego (I had actually just been telling myself that I could push through the dizziness because I had never fallen!)

I truly would appreciate prayers....(and health insurance! ;)

I will leave you with some fun Halloween pictures to keep you updated that the children are still hanging in there with all of this!

Ilya was having so much fun that he decided to taste raw pumpkin!

At first he decided that it was pretty good!

Then, he decided he wasn't so sure!

Then, he went right back to eating it anyway! Ha ha!  I absolutely adore this little boy!!!

He even convinced Robertson and Amelia to try it...never underestimate the power of a five year old!

I don't think they were too convinced!!!

But, they all had a fun time!  Especially because their grandparents bought the pumpkins for them and they got to choose which one they wanted.  Amelia's was HUGE!!!

Hooray for pumpkin carving!

I wasn't able to go, so my poor overworked older girls were able to just get a few pictures of the Halloween party at church:

Hmmm, never underestimate the power of blogging either!  I'm feeling much more cheery after posting these pictures...I am truly blessed with a wonderful family! 

Do you want to see the twins???

I bet everyone is tired of seeing pictures like this of the twins:

Well that is about to end...today!!!! :)  I have probably been more cautious than necessary about posting their pictures, but the wait period is over and has been over since June after our last finalization court date. So prepare for some pictures of the twins, learning their names, and what country they are from!

Let me start by catching everyone up....

I have mostly good news and just a bit of bad news....so I think I'll get the bad part out of the way.

On Friday, Robertson woke up with a fever. :(  It is, of course, making me nervous because that is how his Guillain-Barre started....with a fever and no other immediate symptoms.  I took him in to the family doctor and she didn't notice any neurological involvement, so we are waiting and watching carefully.  I called yesterday evening to speak to the neurologist on call.  Every time Robertson's advil wears off, the fever is still spiking and I wanted to see if the neurologist would be concerned about what is going on due to the Guillain-Barre.  Oh my goodness, I'm so thankful that the neurologist we got in the hospital was *not* the one that I just spoke to!

She merely offered that if I gave him tylenol, as well as advil, that his fever would "go away".  Ummmm, I don't think that quite *solves* the problem. :(  Only when I continued to explain that he recently had Guillain-Barre and I wanted to be sure that we weren't missing something etc did she finally say that if he still had a fever today that we could bring him back to urgent care....UGH!

Okay....the *good* news!!!!  And, there is a lot of it! First of all, Robertson's vision is finally getting better!  When you hold your finger closer to him, he is seeing only one finger!  If you hold the finger further away, he still sees double but he is truly and *finally* making progress after a long stall of no progress at all.   I can't even begin to explain how happy that makes me!  His eyes are tracking much much better as well so they don't even really look crossed anymore.  If this horrible fever would go away, I could truly begin to relax and celebrate....

Next bit of good things.....as far as the twins!  So much has been going on in our household lately that I forgot to do something that I absolutely intended to do.  Twenty days after the last court date marked the last bit of waiting for the finalization of their adoption....what does that mean?  Well, we are not yet done entirely with the adoption until the third trip which is coming in just a couple of weeks.

But, that trip is just to allow their immigration into the United States.

The beautiful country of *Latvia* granted us permission to adopt and after no one contested the adoption during the wait period....we can all dance around......

We are rejoicing that they are legally our children! :)

Yes, I know....they are beautiful children, inside and out!!!!

Can you imagine the two of them being split up?  I absolutely cannot!!!

Announcing "officially" the adoption of Ilya and Katerina (Kate) into our family!!!!!!!!!

Last Friday,  we decided to make a very spontaneous trip to the beach.  We *needed* it sooo badly!  We had not been to the beach to camp as a family for about three years due to caring for our grandmother until she passed away last year (see this link for our memorial slide show from a year ago....I just watched it and still got teary :(

Anyway, early Saturday we got ready.....well, actually........we kind of spontaneously threw things in our van and headed out.

And, off we drove towards San Francisco...

And, eventually, we made it to Half Moon Bay!

It was so BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!

Eleanor loved it!!!

Kate loved it!!!!!

Ilya loved it!!!

Robertson loved it!!!

Amelia loved it!!!!!

Emily loved it!!!

Mary loved it!!!

Maria loved it!!!

And, when *all* of the children are happy....guess who else is happy too!!!!

We were all so focused on heading to the beach for the twins to experience the Pacific Ocean for the first time, that we never thought about the fact that camping was a completely new concept that was even more foreign to them!

We set up our tent next to the porta potty....I know, it sounds ridiculous.... but for a family of many children and a mom with a weak stomach, coupled with the fact that no one else wants to camp there....it just seemed ideal! :)


So, Ilya kept looking around strangely at the other tents and then at ours...and asked "What you doing???"  I explained that we were setting up our tent and that we would be sleeping in there that night.  He paused for awhile and then looked back at me and said...."WHY???" in a tone that could only be translated as "are you crazy?!?"

Ha ha, it was a good question!!!  Oh well, he got over it quickly and decided that he actually liked the idea of camping!

As did Eleanor, once she found the doggie door!

Kate thought it was a pretty fun idea too!

Another brand new concept for the little ones....SMORES!!!

Oh! I almost forgot to mention where we were camping!  Since our trip was so spontaneous, we didn't have a reservation at the state park.  We were hoping there might be a last minute no show, but when we arrived, we realized that wasn't likely....the parking lot for day use was even closed because it was full!

So, I was thankful that I had taken some time to research other options and we headed down the road to the  Cameron's Pub and Inn.  

It may not be immediately obvious that they offer tent camping as well as RV parking but they do and it was a lot of fun.  The place is set up like an old English Pub but it is family friendly and the food is wonderful!

And, they have quirky English decorations all throughout the property......

Ilya trying to look like a mean pirate!

Kate trying to look scared! :)

Uh Oh!  Amelia is in some serious trouble now!

He's a natural!  He went right into this pose!

And, so we spent our last day at the beach....a long leisurely day of playing and resting and just enjoying the ocean......

Emily made friends and saved a little shrimp!

If you weren't sure before.....now you will know that the twins *loved* the ocean! :)

And, while you chuckling at how cute the twins are...how about a little further entertainment compliments of my darling husband, who decided to get a picture of me while I was taking this video of the twins!

Now you're sure to be laughing...you're welcome! :D