It is truly a miracle!!!!!

I am so full of emotion today that my hands are having a hard time typing the words....we have gone from near panic about the time running out for our second trip and not knowing how we were ever going to make it work..... to being fully funded in one single day!!!! 

Our anonymous donor sent another large donation and we are fully funded for trip #2!!!  Can you all even imagine the intense emotions I am feeling?!?   I've never been so glad that I have a blog or otherwise I would have absolutely no way to express my gratitude...I am desperate for them to know how much this means to our family and I hope they are reading this!

Let me explain why I have been absolutely brought to my knees with gratitude....

Ever since we have been home, I have had fundraising in the back of my mind.  I knew that I needed to do it....and I knew that there just had to be a way but time was always so short now that we had the twins home.  Adjusting to two new children is not easy (and adjusting to family, pets, chickens, speaking English, and country living has undoubtedly been even harder for them!)  And, bonding takes concentrated and solid time spent interacting together....it can't be done in spare time(as if I had much of that anyway!)  So, in the beginning, I prioritized and chose the twins and the family.

Then, as our days began racing forward and we got our dates for our second trip and court, I realized I  *had* to get busy!  I struggled with attempting some of the past fundraiser ideas because I was afraid that many of the people who might participate would be the same ones who had already helped us.  The last thing I wanted to do was have our family and friends feel at all obligated or pressured to help when they had already been so very helpful and generous for our first trip. 

I decided that I would put extra focus on our business and list all of our ebay items and books that I've been slowly but surely working on getting up to auction. 

And then......well, remember what I said at the end of my last post?  I mentioned that we had a bit of a flood?

Our toilet flooded in our downstairs guest bedroom. We had recently renovated the entire room for my grandmother before she passed away....and now it was ruined.

 Also, the water did not stay localized in the bedroom or bathroom, but rather it carried on like a river and  poured into our library/ebay room and damaged many books and items that I had planned to sell.

 

We had to remove all of the carpet in the bedroom and threw away bags and bags of merchandise and books.  It was sickening and an *enormous* amount of work and time that I truly didn't have....and certainly didn't help with fundraising!

Thankfully, I saved my grandma's rocking chair......no apparent damage.  It has a great story that I may just decide to share someday. :)
Anyway, I am just now beginning to get caught back up from all of the other things that didn't get done while I was mucking out two flooded rooms.  <sigh>

So, today, this very day, was *the* day that I was going to just focus the whole day on getting auctions up and developing new ideas and new listings on etsy for our business.

 I started out at 4:45am to get ready to teach seminary.  My daughters and the other two truly wonderful teenagers in my class are all getting ready for a scripture bowl competition.  I taught a lesson and we had some fast and furious practice competition and then I headed on home to start the day. 

Let's see (just for fun) if I can think of all I did this morning....(well, just a few highlights perhaps!)

breakfast for the children,


boiling lettuce for our tadpoles,

fed the chickens and attempted to gradually entice them back into the very coop where many of their family and friends were murdered by some stray animal in the night (yeah, they're not buying it so far...),

 unloaded/reloaded the dishwasher,

broke up a tug of war between Eleanor and I. over bright red lip gloss that they were both eating (Amelia was just reading this over my shoulder and said, "oh my gosh, was that MINE???"),

reminded children one or two or three plus times that they needed to work on their chores,

helped Robertson and Amelia get started on their homeschool curriculum,

reminded the two of them one or two or ten times to focus on their work,

and finally, I was called outside to witness this interesting moment in country living:

Yes....these are bees that have decided to move...and I'm hoping that they are just planning to hang out on the outside of our chimney for a night before moving on...kind of like a short motel stay vs their new home. Pretty please!

And, yes, this was all before noon!  Ummmm, how many listings did I get done?

Absolutely none! :-(  I was so frustrated and feeling overwhelmed trying to figure out what in the world I was going to have to do to get some quiet uninterrupted time in order to work, and the day was already half gone....

Then, my daughter came into the house with her eyes all excited about the mail.....and there was our donation. 

I truly wish I had the words.....but often words just don't have the power and the emotion that real life can convey.  I am deeply, deeply grateful for the person or persons that care so much about the twins and our family.  I'm not sure if they know how many hours and hours I would have had to work and take time away from the children in order to earn the funds that were needed.  I am truly not even sure if I could have done it unless I had stayed up all night every night until Robert left. 

I am amazed, thankful, and in awe of the fact that our Heavenly Father has indeed made sure that our prayers were answered and that the twins will be ours on paper as well as in our hearts.  It is all so wonderful and humbling and overwhelming.  I often feel like I am unsure if I can believe it and that I am still in shock....This has been a day of a real life miracle for our family!!!!

To our anonymous donor....we will never ever forget the kindness that you extended to us and we will enjoy telling the twins throughout their whole life what an act of altruism that was to give so much and not ask for any recognition.  We will strive to do likewise and use this as an example of how we want to live and behave....just as our Savior would.  Thank you dear donor, we hope you hear and feel the great love and appreciation our family sends to you.
With our love,
The Walker Family

Is it too late for Easter? There is a brand new way to find eggs

Here is my post that I started soon after Easter but just haven't been able to get out.  I figured that as long as it posted before the 4th of July, I would be happy!  I will follow soon with catching everyone up to date and how I have literally been drowning in deep water.

Nothing can prove my own human-ness faster than events like Easter.  Some of you may relate and some of you that I envy will wonder what the heck I am talking about!  There is just something about the pressure of wanting everyone to look "nice" for pictures and for a specific event that will find me short on patience and saying and thinking ridiculous things. 

I start out with a Martha Stewart ideal and always end up with something more like Roseanne (yes, I know...that's an old show, I just don't watch much tv anymore!)  Hmmm, maybe that is because Martha Stewart didn't have eight children in her home or maybe I get a big Fail or maybe it is somewhere between the two. 

Either way, the ideal perfection that I am aiming for usually ends up with me giving up and all of us heading for the van in our "imperfect" state for church. 

And, guess when the real fun and togetherness begins?

Once I let go and let the kids be kids and be messy and just have fun at Easter time and if I get good pics then I do and if I don't?  Well, the world will keep rotating and God will be happier with my mothering. 

But, do I learn?  Hmmm, well a little bit each year perhaps.  But, not quite enough to prevent me from doing it again.  Ahhh, maybe 2013 is the year!  I will either get better organized the night before or we'll just head for church in our pajamas. LOL!


So I don't have beautiful picture perfect photos of the entire family donned in their Easter finery but I do think I have a video of a small curly haired fairy that will touch your heart. 

You see, K. started a whole new Easter tradition.  When in doubt and you can't find your egg....call to it! Press play and bask in the cuteness!!!


Okay, so I did get some cute pics even if they included untucked shirts and missing barrettes.

 I have soooo many stories left to tell!!!  I actually find that we have a story for every day of the week but just no time to write them down!  But, I have some good/awful flooding stories and can you imagine another addition to the family? :-)

Exciting present for the twin's 5th birthday!!!

I had been writing a blog post on the twin's language and in the middle of it all got the most wonderful news!  Our next court date has been set and our adoption will be finalized on the twin's birthday!!!  I was a little sad at first knowing that my husband would be gone (only one of us has to travel to their country for court this time) for their birthday party and then realized....wait a minute!  They will be getting a family for their 5th birthday, who could possibly top that!?!  I'm so excited!!!

But first, I apologize for the lack of blogging!  I am so sorry that I am missing out on documenting these first weeks....but this is how I am with a newborn too so I shouldn't be surprised. 

I also want to thank everyone for their prayers and ultimately to thank God for His patience with me!  Robert has found a job....one that meets our needs even though it may not meet my wants.  We may have to keep looking and there may still be some changes in our future but for now...we can eat and pay our bills.  We all have learned to be grateful for the basic things and ultimately that is such a blessing.  So, we continue to press forward with lots of humility....and I am working to pray more and worry less and keep a brighter attitude (admitting that I fail at this frequently :(

On to more fun topics!  One of the things I have been asked about the most is how the twins are doing with learning English.  It is such a funny topic for our family because they are completely polar opposites on this one.  (please forgive my hair in this pic, it was a damp day which makes my hair a bit wiggy!)

I. is speaking in full sentences and runs around the house touching things and asking the name for it.  We all immediately thought of the scene in the movie with Helen Keller where she is so excited to learn and find out everything she can as fast as possible. 

I.'s foster mother described him as "the professor".  We think that is a great descriptive for him!  He is curious about everything and is very intelligent.  He asks about everything and has this deep desire to know all.  He is also very active and can get over stimulated very easily.  He can have wonderful calm moments though where he is incredibly sweet and very affectionate.  He tells me "I love you" and gives hugs and kisses frequently throughout the day.

I like to call K. my little fairy princess.  She is flat out adorable and she knows it. :-)  She is also very smart but seems to launch her intelligence into more creative works and dramatic play.  She can make an entire game with a single string and play quietly for hours.  We were in the US Embassy waiting room for five minutes before she had already transformed the waiting room into her own little cafe!

K. started out with an indifference to English and then once we arrived home to the U.S., she announced "NO English!"  And, decided that she would teach us her language.  Which, I might add, has worked to some degree because we know many more words now than we did while in-country. 

So, while I. absolutely never speaks his native language unless he is talking with his sister, she always speaks in her native language and she will speak loudly and slowly in hopes that we will finally get a clue and begin to learn! LOL!

K. is so funny though, because every once in awhile an English word or phrase will slip out with near perfect pronunciation and clarity. 

They are both doing perfectly as far as I am concerned and we are just enjoying their very distinct and super dynamic personalities. :-)

So, I decided it might be fun to recall their very first words and then go on to the words they know now.

Very first words (during the first month in their country):
Mommy

Daddy

I love you (taught by their very loving foster mother)

*water*-we knew it in both languages and man did we use this word! (we used this term for so many things....thirsty, river, bath time, swimming at the water park)

EAT!

milk

pee pee (don't know how they knew this term but it worked for asking about needing to use the restroom....well, until K. decided that she didn't actually need to do #1 but rather #2 so that this term didn't apply and she was completely frustrated and nearly had an accident before we figured it out because she kept insisting No! No, pee pee! :/

Horse (this is because I. absolutely *loves* them!)

Baby-K. loves to play "baby" and I loved the benefits of getting a lot of cuddling and holding in

Blankie-they truly loved (and still use) the super soft egyptian cotton baby blankets that we got for them

Kitty-another game that K. likes to play-she is a very sweet and cuddly little kitty

Doggie-another game that I. likes to play-he is a very boisterous and loud barking doggie!

SWIM-this is the word they use for taking baths and also going to the water park

Chocolate-I wouldn't have thought of this as a first word but...everybody loves chocolate, right? :-)

Boat-look for past pics that show the huge cruise boat that we had a view of from our gorgeous apartment while we were in-country.

Juice

Be nice/not be nice-I don't know how this was the term I chose to use but once it was understood, we kind of stuck with it...possibility out of desperation and necessity

Yucky!-mostly reserved for strange/unknown foods

Taxi/car


Words from our 2nd month together:

PLAY! :-)

Most of the body parts-eyes, ears, teeth, hair, head, legs, arms, mouth etc

Dead-I know, it is a strange one to put in first words but children at this age really do seem fascinated with life and with death...ie whenever there is a dead bug etc.  K. has a game where she pretends to choke and die and we all say "Oh no!  She's dead!" and then she springs back to life and runs away giggling and laughing!  She adores playing this game...

TV- Of course!  Not my favorite word and I am really trying to limit this now but like many children they truly enjoy cartoons....especially Tom and Jerry which seemed to be always playing in the restaurant while we were in-country

Outside-what a treat it is to go outside and romp in the warmth after being so cold in the snow!

Shoes-because we have to have those on to go outside

Get dressed/shirt/pants

Walk-as in "going for a walk" which involves going on the levy across the street from us and going down to the beach at the river

Good morning-this is the term that I. also uses when I tell him something we can do in the morning...he wants reassurance that when we say "good morning!" that he can do or eat whatever it is that he is wanting

Let's go!

Many foods(some they can't say-but they understand)- yogurt, chips, banana, apple, rice, KETCHUP, milk, cereal, ICE CREAM(!!!), sprinkles, meat, chicken, cucumbers, carrot, orange, cheese(usually followed by "yucky"), pizza, popcorn, and pie

Stop!  Go!

Cup/fork/spoon

Sleep/Tired

Words favored by I.

Bottom-I. thinks that he has the word like (b-u-t-t) but I am content that bottom is a much nicer word to use! :-)

Poo-poo-he and Eleanor (our three year old) unfortunately, quite enjoy the "potty talk"

Flamingo!-He loved the flamingo at the zoo and then got a magic egg that hatches in the water and grows into a.....flamingo, of course!  His actual word is "mingo!"

HORSE-loves them, wants to watch movies about them, pretends he is one, and loves any book with them in it!

Words favored by K.

Princess!

Ice cream!-I know, I mentioned this one already, but she absolutely *loves* this and it helps the medicine to go down much more happily :-)

Owie!-Any tiny little scratch or nick and she comes running to me for lots of kisses and of course to have a dramatic reaction of how badly wounded she is!  A band-aid is also a must!

Uppa!-her word for "up" and she says it when she wants me to pick her up and hold her.  Very cute!

*Thanks to those who made it this far and hopefully I will have some fun Easter stories and pics to share soon!

Prayer request for our family-and another slideshow :-)

This post has been my most internally debated with a strong desire to avoid altogether....and I'm still not sure I want to write the words.  However, I can't blog at all if I don't.... it is a central issue for our family right now.

Thankfully, the issue is not the twins at all....we are all bonding together extremely well and they are settling in as very loved and appreciated members of the family.  I have so many fun stories to tell but feel that I must discuss the adversity first, because we really need the prayers.

I have mentioned but have not focused on the fact that my husband had just started the police academy when we began the adoption.  I am embarrassed to say that this was not a prayerful or spiritual decision but rather it seemed to make sense and was something he had truly wanted to do.  We had the savings and I could continue our business at least part time in his absence.  Keep in mind that this was just *prior* to our beginning the adoption.

He pre-tested with one of the highest scores of the class and I saw him dedicate himself in a way I had never seen before.  They started with a group of around 80-90, but as they were told to expect....he only graduated with about 25.  It took extreme amounts of hard work, a two hour daily commute which typically started and ended in the dark, extreme physical training, studying until late at night, and the near daily stress that he could be cut with any fail of a test or scenario at any time. 

I was so relieved, happy, and proud that he made it through and I was looking forward to getting back on more solid ground financially as I just assumed that certainly by July or August he would have a job.

You probably know where I am going with this....

The horrendous economy coupled with the extremely loooooong hiring process for law enfocement means that after Robert putting out over 60 applications all over California and a few in Washington...... there is no job. 

I haven't mentioned it much because I've been trying to stay positive and continue to have hope.  And, it sounded *really* good that he would have a job lined up by the time we returned after our month to go get the twins.  He had passed the physical agility and written exam, the oral board interview, the polygraph, and the psych eval.  But, when we got home, he was told that a smaller group went through the new hire academy and he was not selected (possibly because we were out of country, but we will never know).....but he could possibly go through in August.

August isn't that far away.....except when you are paying such high rates for medical insurance that it is like trying to carry two mortgages. 

So, here we are.....we MUST have health insurance, and currently ours is an extended COBRA and very expensive but also very good.  We absolutely cannot go on anything state subsidized and still have our adoption go through.  And, it is NOT an option to go without, especially now that we have the twins. 

We also have the expenses of two more trips (flight and hotel and court costs) to the twin's country including more fees for an updated home visit from the social worker for the next court date as well as fees for apostilling the documents and more money for filing for the children's immigration. 

We are really facing a scary nightmare. 

And, an ending to Robert's dream of law enforcement....for now.  He is now looking for any job in any field that would provide benefits.  And, jobs that are *anywhere* which means that we may be moving.  The job market is extremely tough right now and we are being realistic that it may mean some serious sacrifices.

So life is hard right now....down right discouraging. 

And, many people might say.....(I often imagine someone with their hands on their hips) "well, they should never have adopted...that was a bad decision".  And, if you looked at it from purely a financial point of view.....I suppose they would be right.  We invested our savings, 401K, and every spare cent into the adoption....to the point of depleting all of our food storage to eliminate grocery bills.

But, I am firmly resolute that I have absolutely no regrets and that these two are our children and they are HOME!  Money doesn't mean anything to me if it isn't being used for things that actually matter. 

And, all of you that have been reading our blog for awhile will know that our family started an online walkathon and walked nearly every day to attempt to help bring them home. 

Can you even imagine the feelings and tears that welled up when we took this picture.....with the twins actually and *finally* here!

I decided after writing this blog that I just had to do another slide show.....just to help me to cope and provide the inspiration.....we all *love* the two of them so much and I have been hugged and kissed and had someone on my lap more in the past few weeks than ever before. 

Bring on the prayers and encouragement.....I just know that Heavenly Father is with us......and the twins are home, Hallelujah!!!!!!  (as always, the fuzzy quality with some of the pics/video is intentional until the adoption is final in order to comply with the court)

Part 2 of our homecoming-traveling with the amazing Wonder Twins!

So, after the twins gave the thumbs up and activated their super powers (read the last post, lol!) we made it to the airport nearly four hours early.  It is good to be early in terms of getting on the airplane but all of you that have small children will recognize that this is also an additional challenge. 

How do you keep active four year old twins from being:
A. Overstimulated from the airport environment which leads to difficult behaviors
B.  Understimulated and bored which leads to difficult behaviors

Well, we decided to eat (remember my last post about our favorite restaurant?)  They had a smaller version of the best restaurant in Eastern Europe inside the airport.  So, I slowly savored my last bites of chicken shish kebabs and barley mashed potatoes with fresh squeezed carrot juice.  The twins were really too excited to eat much but we managed to get them to eat a little and then decided we had better wait in the long line to get our baggage checked.

Sounds horrible, right?

Nope!  The twins were fascinated with the belts that carried the luggage:

Next was the security check point....oh man, did I dread that!  It is hectic and people behind you want you to hurry up and we had several carry on bags and two lap tops and coats to remove, *and* twins!  I had envisioned them running around or tantruming while I was trying to throw miscellaneous items in grey bins with my hair standing straight up! 

However, there were no issues whatsoever.  Once again, they were fascinated by it all!  We even had airport security that demanded to search K. (I had forgotten that her coat was still on and had a metal zipper....and you know she looks like a seriously scary terrorist!)  I opened my mouth to protest but she was already standing with her arms out and looking like a cheerleader with a huge smile while the metal detector scanned over her tiny little frame. 

Next was Wizz Air......okay, I mentioned on a previous post that this is a very "no frill" airline.  It makes Southwest airlines look like first class.  My husband likes to point out how appropriate their name is as his feet were sticking to the floor when he attempted to use the bathroom. 

However, once again, the flight went without a problem!  I. was fascinated on this leg of the trip with the safety features handout. 

He kept pointing to the mask pictures and pointing up at the ceiling over our heads and looking quizzical.  I tried to explain the best I could and used the words "it's okay" a lot in order to help reassure him.  But, he seemed fine with it and just curious more than anything. 

Oh!  I neglected to mention that this was the first time they had *ever* flown in their lives.  And, they merely smiled during take off and then played and looked through magazines the rest of the time.  Can you tell that it was just a bit cold?

They fell asleep approx five minutes before the plane landed in London.

We had two groggy babies when we arrived and we had a fair walk ahead of us to get to our taxi that would shuttle us to Heathrow airport.  I carried K. most of the way and she kept asking to go "home" in her language.  It was so hard to hear those words and know that even when we made it home that it wouldn't yet be home to her. 

As soon as we got into the taxi, I. immediately pointed at the steering wheel in the taxi with a look of surprise and confusion. 

He had noticed that the steering wheel is on the opposite side!  Very observant, especially for a sleepy four year old!  He then shrugged his shoulders and smiled at me as though to say "Whatever! What silly people!"

We arrived at Heathrow a short time later and stumbled through the brightly lit airport to a very unusual but highly appreciated hotel that is located inside the airport.

It is called "Yotel" and reminded me of a room in a train but with a space age twist. 

Robert wasn't too keen at first with the idea of a hotel that charges by the hour!  But, truly, every airport should have this as an option!

This was almost like our room except that we had bunk beds that would sleep two per each bunk....very cozily.  K. was super excited about the idea of sleeping on a bunk bed but not so happy when she learned she needed to share with her brother.  Either way, we had a place to sleep for a few hours before getting up at 5am to head for our 10.5 hour flight on Virgin Atlantic.

Sounds horrible, right?  Well, believe it or not, the twins were so happy with having their own tv and choice of recent animated movies that I was able to watch a Shakespearean type movie called "Anonymous" twice....with virtually no interruptions! 

They kept the food coming during the entire trip....and even offered kids meals!  It was wonderful!  We had two bigger meals and several snacks where they would just randomly bring by ice cream bars or dark chocolate mousse!  We even had scones with strawberry jam and clotted cream. Yum!

When we landed in San Francisco it was 1pm California time and 11pm from the time zone we had just left.  K. did not sleep at all on the plane and I. only slept for about 15 min.  So when my dad came to pick us up they were almost immediately asleep and missed their first look at California. 

I was astounded by how *green* and bright everything was!!!  It was almost difficult for my eyes to take it all in.....I had anticipated loving the warmth but completely forgot about the color green! LOL!

We had a quiet and relaxing two hour drive and the twins literally woke up minutes before we arrived home.

Can you believe how wonderful and easy that trip was....okay, it was long and had a few moments of discomfort here and there but overall it was smooth and pleasant. :-)   I am so thankful for all of the prayers said on our behalf and thankful to our loving Heavenly Father who helped us every step of the way.  AHHHHHH, we were finally HOME!!!!!!!

To be continued.....I'll try to write about our arrival and reunion with the whole family tomorrow!

Wonder twins power-ACTIVATE!!!

I know that this post title is going to show my age!  But, you will see how important it is in just a moment! ;-)

I first want to apologize for leaving everyone hanging but I truly could not keep up with trying to get my house back together after a month of neglect, on top of jet lag, and provide a constant and stable presence for the twins as well as my other children who needed me too after missing their mom for a month.  It has been a busy week!

I decided that I will start at the beginning just before we left the twin's country so that I can capture the memories..... before they are gone.  So, I will slowly but surely get us all caught up.....

The day we left was actually bitter sweet.  After all of my whining about wanting to be home with the rest of our children and back where we had warmth and budding fruit trees, I realized that this time that we had with the children was nearly over.  And, I realized that as hard as it was, there were also many good memories.

  It was time to say goodbye to our first home together.....this is the outside of our apartment bldg.

And, to say a final goodbye to the huge boat that we greeted and waved goodbye to outside our window every morning and every evening.

It was time to say goodbye to our winter wonderland full of crunchy snow and our absolute favorite place to go out to eat and play!

Where Tom and Jerry episodes mixed with shish kebabs and chocolate strawberry cake made for absolute heaven on the earth!

So, in the end, I did indeed feel sentimental about this first home of ours together.  And, I was more than a bit worried about how hard this upcoming trip was going to be for the twins. 

We took our final ride to the airport in the taxi and just prior to leaving I told the children using their word for airplane that we were *finally* going to go!  Their foster mother did a great job in preparing them so they knew that it was coming.  But, seriously.....nothing could have prepared me for what they did next........and I promise that I am not adding or dramatizing to make a better story.

We sat in the back of the taxi and I explained once again that we were going to the plane....both of them paused and stared forward as though they were deeply processing what I was saying.  Then the lightbulb went off! 

They looked at me and both almost simultaneously asked "airplane?" in their language....with the tone suggesting that they were asking....really and truly, right NOW????

I nodded with a sufficient look of excitement that they got it...we were leaving for America....this was it!!!!!!

And, now the unexpected behavior.......

K. locked eyes with I. and gave him the thumbs up!

I. looked at her with a huge smile of agreement and put his thumb up next to hers!

I absolutely couldn't help but to flash back when I was a child....to a cartoon that I hadn't thought of in years.....if you remember this, you are old too! hee hee

This was it!!!  Their time had come and they acted as though they knew all along that this was the next chapter for them and what they needed to do.   

Then, they started kissing and hugging each other with an intensity I had never seen before....in sheer bliss and excitement!  They spoke to each other in short exclamations that seemed like "Yay, America!  Yay, airplane!  Yay, family!  FINALLY!!!!"  (my interpretation may be off a bit! ;-)

Then, they would start hugging and kissing each other again and pressing themselves to the window of the taxi. 

Where in the world do you find four year olds that would not only understand the enormous meaning of this moment but that would express it with excitement *and* with the idea that they were ready and were bravely facing it together....I hope I am describing the moment with the right clarity because I hope to never forget it.....and the rest of our trip is based on this theme......

"Wonder twins power.....ACTIVATE!!!!!"

Stay tuned as I will try to tell a part of our story every day until I am caught up.....tommorrow on to our plane ride and staying the night in a space pod! ;-)

Leaving tomorrow-difficult things to say

We are leaving tomorrow!!!  Everything went great with the US Embassy doctor and she mentioned how well behaved and smart the twins are! :-)  Despite K's fears the day before about the doctor...she did quite well!  I half expected that...if there is one thing I have learned about children is that you truly never know.  It is nearly impossible to predict good days and bad days and which child will have the harder time.

I have SO many things that I want and actually need to say but I never seem to have the time to do so.  I know that it will likely be harder once we get home and we begin the difficult process of adjusting.  Every family member that has ever been added whether it is through marriage, birth, or adoption...it is an adjustment. 

The difficult things I have to say may surprise you.  Because it is not about our twins.  I just feel an urgency to share with all of you something that is weighing heavily on me right now....

It started a couple of nights ago when I could not sleep and I noticed that someone on FB was advocating for a child that I had already seen on Reece's Rainbow a good while ago.  So, in my tired and groggy state, I headed over to the Reece's Rainbow website and truly expected to see the new children that were in dire need of a family.

What did I find???

So very many of the exact same children that were on the website from the time that we started our adoption of the twins a year ago!!!!  WHAT?!?  I quickly became wide awake with frustration and outrage!  I just couldn't understand it!!!  I hear about people every day (due to the various adoption lists that I am on) that are adopting....how could it be that children are still just waiting and waiting???  I had really gotten a false perception of how many families were adopting.....and how many children are waiting!

Then, moments later I visited a blog...if you all remember, it was the blog that helped us to fundraise at the last moment before travel.  She was highlighting children with special needs and the horrors that they face when they are not adopted.  And, then showed the before and after when someone wrapped their arms around them and brought them into their family. 

So, I *do* want you to go to these links but I want to put in the disclaimer.  The pictures are graphic and hard to see.  I don't think you will be the same person after you witness and learn about this yourself.....I know that I have been forever changed.

This quote will then apply to all of us!

 "Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know and holds us responsible to act."

Here are the links....sit down, and imagine that you weren't born into a family with a mother to kiss you, and food whenever you were hungry, and most likely your entire existence was peering between the bars of a crib....alone.....

Read this link first:

http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/2012/02/if-not-usthen-who.html

And then, see what happens when we actually do something and care:

Prepare to be *amazed*....make sure that you not only look at the pictures but also read the descriptions of what the different children went through before and after:

http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/2012/02/seeing-is-believing.html